Dear Idiot

Are your hands broken?

Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:16:18 -0400

Dear Idiot,

When you come to a clothing store it is not the sales associates job to find your size in the pile of shirts. Standing in front of a stack of shirts, pointing and asking ‘do you have this in my size’ is not acceptable.

Apparently I am responsible for every cup of coffee made on th east coast.

Sat, 24 Apr 2010 09:39:29 -0400

Picture this- A coffee shop full of people waiting for drinks, a line out the door and only two barista’s working (someone called in sick!) The seasoned barista (me) is on the bar with a line of drinks covering the entire counter while the new barista is trying her best to keep up on the register.

Customer: How come no one on the east coast knows how to make a good cup of coffee?

(Now remember- this gentleman has not received his drink yet)

Barista: Uh, I am sorry I don’t know the answer to that

Customer: Well don’t you have to go through training to learn how to make the drinks properly

Me: Yes we do

Customer: Well how come you still can’t manage to make a good latte?

Me: (while running back and forth between making cold and hot drinks, running out of product and trying not to punch this guy in the mouth) I am sorry you feel that way, what did you order?

Customer: A 140 degree latte

Me: I am sorry you are not satisfied with your drink, would you like me to remake it?

Customer: I don’t have my drink yet, I just know that no one on the east coast knows how to make a good latte

Me: (Stopping everything to look this jerk right in the eye) Sir, I don’t know what you want from me.

Customer: I just want you to learn to make a decent coffee

REALLY?!

Conversation

Sat, 24 Apr 2010 09:38:44 -0400

Customer: can I get a manhattan on the rocks?

Me: Sure, do you have a preference on the whisky? We use Jim Beam as our well.

Customer: But that’s a bourbon…..

Me: Yes, it’s a bourbon whisky.

Customer: Do you have any regular whisky?

Me: Yes I have 30 different whiskys. What would you like?

Customer: Well what’s your well whisky?

……All bourbons are whiskys but not all whiskys are bourbons………

You are not gods gift to women.

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 22:39:11 -0400

Dear Idiot,

In the service industry, girls are paid to be nice to EVERYONE. This does not mean they have a crush on you and want to be asked out. Next time think twice and choose your words.

"This is a spoon."

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:32:09 -0400

“This is a spoon.”

- customer, holding spoon.

This is not the psychic friends hotline.

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:31:30 -0400

Dear Idiot,

When you walk into one of these newfangled coffee shops, you have to actually tell the person behind the counter what beverage you would like. You can’t just yell a size at them. “Medium” is not a drink.

Conversely, yelling “french vanilla cappuccino” in my face is hardly productive when it is availably in 4 different sizes and you do not deign to tell me which one of them you want.

Thanks.

Dear Idiot, baristas are not in charge of public restroom cleanliness.

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:27:17 -0400

Crazy old woman (flailing cell phone at my face): Do you see this???
Me: your phone
Woman: Do you see the picture????
Me: It looks like...a toilet?
Woman: It's the public bathroom. Outside.
Me: You took a picture of the public bathroom?
Woman (angry): It's disgusting!
Me: Ok...
Woman: Look at it!
Me: Yes. It's disgusting. It's a public restroom.

???

Did the sign outside say "tourist bureau?"

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:09:48 -0400

Dear Idiot,

I am not your tour guide. I am a clerk in a store, not the town historian. When you ask me an informational question about the town I don’t know the answer to, it is not OK to roll your eyes at me and get upset. Do you know everything about the town you live in? I think not.